This is why I do not do kids' birthday parties

I have not hosted a birthday party ever for my boys and do not intend to until they are about I don't know 15. When I can throw some money at the problem and take them out instead of having them in the house.

Number 1 playcentres are awful places where feral bullies and their even worse parents think it is alright to have a go at my son just for walking past. Number 2 every young kids birthday party I have ever attended has been a disaster for the actual child. One burnt his finger on the candle while his father was making a speech. Another was so grumpy and angry, she had to be put to sleep and nobody was allowed to have a 'look' at her. Number 3 have you seen Chinks hosting parties? We overcater like a monster and this costs a lot of money!

So because my lovely team mate who started the same day as me is leaving Melbourne and relocating for a few years, I had to throw a party. She had done one for everyone that was leaving the country and we had a few team members from overseas. Also wanted to show people my decking and front yard. :P Anyways, guess what. I have enough dips and lamb for another round of party. Who wants to come over? I had to stop myself from making more salad the morning of the event as I was paranoid it was not enough! Oh and another tip for myself, next time order the non-raw fish sushi! I was wolfing down sashimi like a crazy person as I did not want to waste it.

Check out the cake pops that I ordered too from Karen. How cute is that?

Another problem with yesterday's party were rude kids, grabby kids and my boy was overwhelmed when everyone who was older (basically everyone else) grabbed his bubble machine hippo and was not letting him touch it. The Chinese Tiger Mum in me wanted to grab said hippo and start attacking the other children. Take that bubble now! See above play centre reference. Mick had to yell at that same said child who decided to yell at D when she was on her way out. I think she was angry about leaving as she wanted to watch Angelina Ballerina. Lucky for grumpy Angelina Ballerina watcher it was not me as I harboured thoughts of hitting her out with my handbag. Angelina Ballerina's brother also decided he was only going to exclude D from looking at his tanks. Cue thoughts of plotting to hit him with his box of army people. There were also very well behaved children and I have to say that none of them wanted to play with rude kids either. They said no we are not playing with you anymore you are very rude! Silently pumping fists in the arm at victory. So you see, putting me in a roomful of other children and I suddenly become crazy. Not a good combination!