Many many months ago, I chugged down the road to a mother's group meet. I believe that little D would have been about 5months old. And I was about to go back to work. Or actually, maybe he was younger. Anyway I have waffled again.
I was sitting around the circle and I said oh I finally found a cleaner. And I have finally convinced my husband that we should have a cleaner. I basically told him that divorce was more expensive. They was someone else who said, "Mine would divorce me if I had a cleaner." Another said, "I would love one, but he is right I don't do anything at home anyway."
Replicate this conversation a few times over and at different settings. I have had the SAME conversation at work with working married women who do not have children. It is usually the male partner that gets all protective and territorial about allowing a cleaner.
There was someone in my Facebook group of mothers who were asking for tips for a new bride and she wanted to collect it all into a box for her to read as a gift. I said GET A CLEANER! OUTSOURCE! Sick of yelling at your husband to mow the lawn? Outsource!
For Mick, it was not the cost of having a cleaner that was prohibitive. He felt strange sitting around doing nothing while the cleaner came in and cleaned. Anyway the good news is, he got used to it. And he did see the benefits in having someone come in to help. And every so often I ask was I right? Yes, I was. Smug look. I can honestly say that we did stop arguing once we had a cleaner. It stemmed from different ways of doing things, different standards etc. But seriously, we both just did not want to spend time on the weekend doing a mundane thing like cleaning. We wanted to go out and do things together. So he did not like having the cleaner come in while he sat in the house. We always had the cleaner coming when the kids and him were not home. I on the other hand is not ashamed to say that I can sit down while she was cleaning.
There you go, you can thank me later for my marriage tips.
2 years ago
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I want to thank you now! Definitely a convincing argument to use against my hubby!
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend I hope this argument works!
ReplyDeletePlease say you're in Melbourne and can recommend me your cleaner ;-)
ReplyDeleteI've no trouble convincing the man we need one...its finding one at a reasonable price that is hard. I dont really want to go through one of those big agencies.
See - our house is pretty big for a couple, and while I love CLEAN....Its just TOO MUCH to clean. I dont get home til 7pm each day and like you, cleaning on the weekend sucks when there's so much more you could be doing. Bah! Friggin THREE toilets and the fur of two fluffy cats *rage*....and of course the Mr doesn't help as much as he should!!
I resisted getting a cleaner when I was on maternity leave and the result was that the house was a mess. When I returned to work I came to the same realisation as you (not the divorce part lol) - it's better to pay someone to do the cleaner and spend more quality time with the family. The Duke is on board although he doesn't like to be here when the cleaners come (he's a very private person). TLP and I just played together when they do their thing.
ReplyDeleteYeap yeap yeap I sure am in Melbourne. Let's talk cleaners, I have been through so many. Soooo many are flakes. Email me! I'll forward you their contact details.
ReplyDeleteOMG 3 toilets!!! Nope the one protesting would always say they can do it themselves. But they don't have time/ different standards of acceptable cleanliness/ have 1000 other things to do before cleaning.